The unedited Sunday Editorial occasionally is published many other days of the week.The revolution will be televised. When the worm turned in Tahrir Square, something very odd happened. In front of the entire world, sprung up from eons past, the Roman Colosseum appeared in front of our very eyes. The day before, anti-government protesters gathered peacefully to be witness to the ouster of dictator and American friend Hosni Mubarak. As if directly channeled from a Portland Oregon leftish wet dream, tens of thousands gathered to change a 30 year-long yoke of oppression. Somewhere on that Square, a little girl placed a bright orange poppy in a soldier's rifle barrel. But in a region of Ancient Rome, suddenly there it was. A Superbowl.
A bunch of guys straight out of
Ben Hur extra casting crash through the crowd. Gladiators on camels and horseback waving sticks like scimitars. Except these dudes are dressed like they just left the second-hand WalMart men's department. A gang of pro-dictatorship types bashed in some heads. Their swarthy fellow Egyptians in $2 Goodwill armor fought back admirably. Beatings ensued, a camel may have been injured. News Departments are scrambling their design divisions brainstorming for new graphics and logos and dramatic music. An epic scrum. Day and night blur together.
Anti-Mubaraks form barricades, steel plates the size of picnic tables are magically produced from the Hollywood prop department out back of Liberty Square. A reporter remarks 'they locked their shields like Roman Legion soldiers'. Molotov cocktails. In the Arena. Two sides battle it out, surprising no corporate sponsorship banners in the FIFA background. Warriors symbolically fighting for the fate of Egypt. And not a Mark Anthony in sight.
A Middle Earth siege, back and forth. Except it's covered by CNN. And Al Jazeera. And FOX and CBS, MSNBC. NBC. The newspaper dudes were the first to be beaten with sticks and punched in the mug. Anderson Cooper was punched in the mug later on. The Whole Enchilada is coming in way under budget according the studio's auditor. The Army did a big smoke trail around the Square, obviously this stealthy technology was designed in the United States so what the Heck. A Doug Henning Smoke Ring of Illusion. And yes, sure, it's in 3-D by gumption. Just like the Superbowl. Hey, wait a minute...the comparisons are just sitting there. But that's too easy, even for Henry Kissinger and Rumsfeld.
The Palace Guard drops petro-bombs from the walls up on high. The Burqa's re-supply from the sidestreets encircling Tahrir Square. Fresh throw rock piles are stacked during lulls in the Scrap. Cartons of Marlboro's and clean polyester shirts are passed around. No chariots however, 50MM rounds fired from American-made tanks dot the sound-scape. Keep 'em in the Ring, Boys. The Battle rages. Facebooked and twittered. On cable, satellite, cellular, AM/FM, on paper, ones and zeroes, over-the-air antenna. Tune in to witness the Spectacle of Human Drama. Just keep it in the Ring.
After the Superbowl, flat panel television prices will plummet. There it was, an extremely rare in-the-flesh Philip K. Dick expanded Spartacus vuvuzuela moment. Parker and Hart's Wizard of Id: "Sire, the peasants are revolting!" "Indeed."
