Someday, some lucky SOB might get the glorious and high holy opportunity to sample my newest Pepin-inspired creation. For now, I am the Sole-Soul Flavor Savor Speculator. And still, naysayer clown princesses leap out of the Dark Night. Pffft. One rookie petulant assistant doubts whether a possibility exists for recreation of this masterpiece. BAH AND HARUMPH I SAY! Crock Pot Scratch-BBQ Green Chile Black-eyed Peas & lovely Shatter Bacon. [Scratch soak peas for six hours; cook without salt until el dente.] Hatch, NM green chile, secret 20 ingredient scratch sweet tangy sophisticated-hot bbq sauce cooked with cool-looking groove-peas. Crock Pot HI setting for a rumbling roll *blorp blorp* four hours. Big. Bowl. Peas.
Peas, with a fistful of rendered-until-crystallized roasted bacon. Over Arborio rice started with zee drippings... Top with more crunchy pork shards. The BBQ sauce, while ingredient heavy, is simple dump-drop and stir over heat. [Red wine vinegar instead of cider vinegar is surprising and perfect.] Roasting the bacon in one twisted piece in a Dutch oven for 1 1/2 hours @ 375- magic happens. It takes on an architectural crunch structure. Place a big hunk of debris on the center of your Peas. Open weeping is perfectly acceptable. This GUOKAS GEM will win an award.
It's needs a name, this glory to glories. Maybe: Dick Cheney grew a new heart it was so good Soup. Or the "Hadron Particle Super-Collider of Whirled Peas" and maybe perhaps a "superconducting~~ bending zippy, zingy, zangy-tangy protein-y vitamin B's nutrient bonanza..." Or Perfectly Porky Pea Zoop.
