The State of the Union

I've been very sick for the last few days, making watching the SOTU address last night even more depressing without booze. President Barack Obama tilting at The Windmills of Chucklehead is difficult to swallow. I watched the post-game Charlie Rose show, and even a depressed David Brooks was talking suicidal, the frustration of systemic national Stupidity and the increasing realization that it's hopeless for rational governance are sinking in. This actually made me laugh.

A quote that seems to get magically attributed to anyone who may have repeated it, or has been wishfully attached to achieve extra juice, comes to mind. I'll run with the Yale Book of Quotations citation despite the fact that alumnus Dubya may have permanently spoiled the University's credibility for intellectual analysis. From YBQ: Joseph de Maistre (1753-1821) from Lettres et Opuscules Inédits, vol. 1, no. 53 (1851) (Letter of 15 August, 1811):

"Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite." (Every country has the government it deserves.)

Or my version, "A nation of idiots, by idiots and for idiots." Copyright pending...

I'm embarrassed to admit now that I imagined Barack Obama could make a difference and that smart guys in charge would renew my delusional faith in the power of reason. There are just too many morons. There simply is no reasoning with evangelicals of any ilk -religious, Teadouchebag or greedhead along with (as a friend alluded)their retarded offspring college students who only want to know what's on the test. Why bother with all this harmony-We're-All-Americans bullshit. We are not all equal. I'm equal with this cesspool of jackasses roaming our fucking country? I don't think so. The President was blithering about this 2nd best nonsense. Second? Fucking please. We're not even in the Top Ten. What might renew my faith? President Obama's 2011 SOTU opening,

"America, I'll put this simply and slowly so you'll understand me. The vast majority of you are idiots. A nation of idiots, by idiots and for idiots. Unfortunately, the Founding Fathers didn't count on your ability to fuck your way into a country populated by self-centered, greedy, easily-manipulated irrational churchified imbeciles who joyfully work against their own interests. You just suck too much, you fucking simpletons. I quit."

No one would notice if American Idol or Jersey Shore was showing opposite the Address, but it would sure make me feel better. Who the Hell can deal with this sober?

New Decade Ruminations

A thousand years ago, polyester was invented. And the rise of the talkshow provided us with celebrity banter and hi-jinx that was heretofore unavailable to the common schmuck. Spin this out into its eventual demise, and you have American Pop Culture glancing off creativity and smashing into cross-marketed-ed whorish inanity. Whole clans of worshiping droolers without direction,(The Churchers should despise the talkshow, not American Government), mindlessly drifted blissfully toward false sincerity. Until eventually, casual celebrity shame and shenanigans morphed into a platform for various intellectually-challenged awareness soapboxes and internationally broadcast confessionals. Got a disease or affliction? Good luck, all the cool ones are taken spokes-fluffhead-wise. And yet, FatCouchWalMart America can wag that fucking finger of shame. And then feel superior.

What are we left with? Most of popular media is a gawking sideshow where the 60 Minutes and Springers and the TMZers are on equal footing. And shows that makes shit-gravy about talkshows. Television reality programming and talkshows glorify the boorish, the whorish and the douchebag. How many idiots can pimp their eccentricities? Twenty-four hours a day there are teams of community college dropouts chasing minor celebritantes or office-holders with cameras just waiting for their latest girl-girl kiss or drunken bang. Or minor traffic infraction. All that matters is celebrity. At all costs.

Oprah and Tiger and the Octo-uterus and the Balloon family and clinically-brain dead Regis are canaries in the Media coalmine. The Queen of Bullshit quit and soon no one will give a flying fuck about a golf dude banging cocktail waitresses. Hell, even Tyra Whatthehellqualifiesher bailed. But every mothafooking one of them guest/Marketing 101's in-a-box has a product line to make you look and smeell pretty, whatever will they do to survive? Awwwww... And shit, The rise of the impotent Smug Nation unknowingly mocks itself for its lack of historical perspective. Dam Smuggos. American Idol is your generational legacy.

Yet, the scum that floated to the popular top is grasping the rim of the bowl with potential consequences. The cumulative irrelevance of Leno, O'Brien, Dr. Phil, Dave, Rachel Ray, Kimmel, Oz, Wendy, Beck, Bill O., Sandra Lee, Martha and their assorted lifestyle-shaping ilk along with the endless Franken-vomit guest culture has created a possible vacuous black hole that Hawkins couldn't explain if he was lit up on mushrooms and cheap wine. WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WITH THESE MUTANTS? And what do we do with their products, lotions and books-on-tape? There's no flush and swirl down a shitter in a swift and painful fashion.

Hope? Hell, the Teabaggers are the new masters of media. Guns, god and gays and WalMart and Maury The Tapeworm glorifying poverty-class infidelity. The days of kind coercion and dignified intellectual debate are gone. Take off your shoes at the airport. Newspapers fold. Global news divisions have been shuttered. And the audacity of new media pimps proclaim 'bloggers', like me, are the new source of NEWS and INFORMATION. Funny. ha-ha funny. Oprah owns the Moon and you are not invited for a weekend getaway.

Somebody get me a gotdam drink.