They've Breeched the Moat.

In Circus-Circus 'Corporations is people too' America where we live now, the weakness of civics knowledge is grossly obvious. An easy example? "Voters" who pick presidents on their likeability quotient over-estimate the POTUS' non-existent legislative power-thingys and under-estimate the power of Commander-in-Chiefee stuff. It's embarrassing.

Still it's a good thing that Superpower America election turnouts are so low given collective red, white and blue joy in being ignorant. There has to be a way to fool the FOX News viewer into IQ testing for voter registration to begin to cull the guns-gawd-gays herd as they keep breeding unchecked. I myself no longer search for rational solutions to America's whiny victim-hood, I simply repeat repeat accusatory patriotic blather until it becomes fact. How is that possible you say? Throw our even more outrageous 'facts' rendering your previous bullshit seemingly plausible and moderate-y.

"What's The Matter With Kansas" merely scratched the surface. ACK! Yes Newton "Hugo Drax" Gingrich your Pasty Porkiness, I agree. [Just call him Drax, he's hip like that.] Cut food-stamps so we can build a funky Moonbase on that ball of Jesus Cheese. Warning: The core of the Earth's Moon is molten Velveeta so it could be dangerous according to Texas textbook publishers.

We must return this country to the Greatness we exuded before that meddlesome Brown vs Board and the jetpacks will follow. Leaving Earth behind for the little janitor negro childrens, Conservative specimens of perfection will be free to smoke crack and bang male hookers in Peace and comfort on Moon Walmart. [Naming right were sold January 21st as the first order of Newt-y business.] Just as Ronald Reagan wrote in his secret manifesto, Grover Norquist's Haliburton Army National Police Truth Brigades will begin construction of coastal states re-education camps with all the Pizza Hut buffet your fat little video-gamers would ever want. Amen.



This week in Florida Moon Regent Newton Leroy 'Hugo Drax' Gingrich promised to build the Food Stamp Moon Colony for the Imperial Tea Party.

Personality Cult Implodes

Paula Deen, Southern snake-oil saleswoman, hid her Diabetes diagnosis for three years. Her Food celebrity community have kept their mouths shut, no love for the Queen of Fat from Bobby Flay or Bourdain. Anthony Bourdain actually cast a big stone. There's nothing wrong with butter. Hiding a gimmick-end disease and profiting over its cure is sleazy, slimy and downright creepy. The Southern fat-based sweatpants life-style brand is panicked her ham's with her Diabetes face on the label and cookware line might not sell to her cult anymore. She's just another example of celebrity-turned-brand manipulation machine. Does she have her own butter-scent toilet water yet for those with type II who'll miss eating it? It seems the Belle of Budder will do anything for fame. Deen stole Emeril's shtick and cracked it up a notch and got caught. The temples of Trump and Puff Daddy and JLo and Rachel Ray their ilk count on blind worship and obedience, a soulless public gets a comfortably packaged, programmed lifestyle that pleasures and soothes like religion. Deen's sinfully gluttonous disciples must be terribly dismayed, no redneckery without consequence? boo hoo It's an amazing comparison to Graham Kerr's story when he discovered what food can do. Actually, this Buttery Tale is a fine fable to tell the kids at reading time. Oh, be warned Rachel Ray, they can turn on you if EVOO is found to promote...say...anal warts.

"The Wicked Queen of Butterfat melted at the stake by fondue-stick jabbing anal-warted followers..."