Thanks For Nothing.

Thanks Internets. Thanks for nothing, you POS swill-trough. A big wad of bile, greasy bile, that's what passes for civilized thought in 2014. The pen is no longer mightier than the sword. We now live in a Moronacracy. The idiots have won, they've flooded modern life with an onslaught of venomous grammatically-incorrect vomit. So what, right? Who cares. No one is going to read this because nothing written matters anymore. Reading is for ''loosers''. The Comment Section and the democracy of telecommunications has destroyed conversation, it's ruined the exchange of ideas, and it has obliterated any chance at potential intellectual discussion. Bloodthirsty hoardes of sons of Jerky Boys dominate Media. Heretofore unrivalled Stupidity and viciousness now rule modern communication. Intelligent thought is washed away with the Niagara-Falls-volume of assholes patrolling the Internet. Journalism is dead. Newspapers are dead. Never could I imagine that newspapers would go the way of vinyl records.  The Rule of the Troll has drowned out all thoughtful interaction. Kudos to America on the back-slide to Irrelevencnicity, the 'Merca that was 'too busy' to read a newspaper. App $10 to a cop who shoots the colored to teach those food-stampers a lesson. The 21st century only cares about celebrity nipple-slips, and ''if it bleeds it leads'' i.e. whore and gore infotainment. And weather. Weather dominates local TV news. Unless you are a fucking farmer, does it really matter what the seasons are doing? 12 minutes of your local chitter-chatter broadcast is devoted to SHIT THAT DOES NOT MATTER. Do you need to know tempratures throughout the day? This up-to-the.minute grand importance killed the daily. Newspapers are long gone, replaced with market-targeted happy-happy local TeeVee douche-casts that are designed to scare you about your neighbors, ("can't believe this happened on my street''). And roll tape!! Mmmm-go!!! Car-crash live on the scene coverage annnnd...mugshots of scary-types followed by rape-murder-in-a-different-state-burgers-are-good/bad-for-you-tisk-tisk-tisk, a pep you up feel-gooder with an animal or a disabled kid doing something cute and funny. What Beyonce and Miley wore to da club is required knowledge.This is what technological innovation has wrought. A society of fat, lazy, racist, celebrity-worshipping, ignorant Creature-From-the-Black-Lagooners that breeds basement porn-Trolls, ta-da! The tsunami of ones and zero-based Idiot-puke has washed away anything thoughtful. Even if one cares, how frustrating is it to wade through the Slop? So what. All that matters is the American Way. The Way? The way Wallymart can separate your money from your wallet. Because you need more shit, yes? Shakespeare and Hemmingway trying to get published in the 21st century? Yeah right, they would not get a passing chance at an audience because even thinking people have waved off the labor of shit-shifting. Maybe if they flashed a wang-pic. Unless you're the equivalent to a truffle-hunting piglet, you've given up trying to sort the advertising from the gory chaff to find something-anything worth knowing. Here lies Grammar, Decency and  Intellect, they had a good run. It's unfortunate, there is no place to read their obituaries. Smartphones? Smartphones, now that's funny. Oh, 'BTW', that's by the way for you book learnin' folk, your American government is pondering whether to let your ISPs slow down your bandwidth unless you pony up for premium tier service. So, even your bucket of swill will be served in lukewarm gloppy-style. Net Neutrality? Let's call it the Bucket of Two-day Old Squid Challenge. Let's all snuggle around the Utube-Netflixster Box and watch hour after hour of hilarious Squid Bucket vid-pops. Welcome to the Lowest Common Denominator. Like me on Facebook.

Liberty AND Justice. ACK!

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You step out for a breath fresh air and a life for a year or so AND what the???

Just what in the bloody hell happened to the United States of America? We've turned into the whiny poopy pants people of planet Earth. And stinky rottenly corrupt to the core. Not stinky rotten GOOD like your cheese ends 'n' bits cheese box in the icebox or Norge. But the pants worn and discarded because even Mr. Really Should Be On His Meds Homeless Dude couldn't stand it stinky rotten.Why and how does is happen in the Land of amber waves of grain? In what seems like an ever-expanding situation, that fragrant guy, maybe your uncle or cousin who might be a veteran, could use a place to live and medical treatment. Robin Williams, the San Francisco liberal hated by God-fearing Republicans, brazenly used his celebrity to help the homeless. That guy muttering to himself pushing a mountanous shopping cart, blurts out he wants your change. ''This is why we don't go downtown, Marge. These lazy bums won't get jobs...'' Remember Comic Relief? In the 1980s and 90s, Willams along with Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal raised millions and millions of dollars to aid charities struggling to help a burgeoning swarm of koo koo lazy, scary Godless who lacked bootstraps. (Creative license with descriptions that could be heard whenever two ''conservatives'' think they can't be overheard. Eh, Mitt Romney?) Instanly after Williams' death, an ultra-conservative group posted on their website a vile suggestion that demonic powers controlled the comedian- to sell DVDs. A boxed set of their DVDs. Where did the slovenly hordes that Robin Williams, (who's suicide was mocked by Republican heroes Rush Limbaugh and Laura Ingram), tried to assist come from so fast? Republican Holy Ghost Ronald Reagan drove them into the street with a Morning In America grin on his mug. From the Administration that brought you the Welfare Queen delusional governing philosophy, Reagan systematically defunded institutions that helped the mentally ill. Instead of fixing an albeit shaky treatment system, beds for those in need started vanishing through the murky idea that churches are better equipped to care for the depressed or scitzophenic or have PTSD. And the states know how to handle their constituents better than Big Bad Government. Sounds suspiciously like the Obamacare lawsuit script, eh? You want Healthcare, find yourself a charity. Obfuscate, distract with a, take your pick-gun/God/gay, or do a Proud to be an American, rub some dirt on it and you'll be fine. Reagan, kicked the ball downhill with the taxcut and some free-market-magic will raise all boats. With free. market magic middle class jobs permanently moved overseas, how much longer can blaming 911, no wait, Disease-ridden ebola South American child ''looking'' terrorists swarming our border confuse Red State Merca? While a Republican trial-ballooned the lunacy that Democrats have begun a ''war on whites'',  just last week, to drive Paranoid Dixie to the ballot box. Glodwater and Nixon lifted their lids, sat up and said ''Whoa.''. The party of No Government or Else is in a desperate race against demographic irrelevance. Cutting food stamps and school lunches, jammed emergency rooms with underwater families, chronic under-employment cannot be prayed away In perpetuity. While the ALS folks surely had good intentions, morning Local TV news-lite anchors pouring ice-water on their heads, laughing hysterically about what was it? A charity, right? Haha! Next news cycle- poof. Poll those with wet heads about universal healthcare for all and taxpayer-funded research. So, Uncle Sam is going to TAX you $8 a month for medical research ($96/year, an ALS water bucket pledge is $100), what do you think people would say? Harumph Harumph! Government overreach! Taxes taxes taxes when will it stop... But when you get to show off, puff up and prove how good and merciful you are on camera? $100 is nothing blah blah I'm sooo generous. I call B.S..  The current free-market system wherein drug companies decides what pill get popped for maximum profits is ethical? Moral or amoral or immoral? Is there a MIDDLE GROUND (apologies for cursing the 'MD'-phrase) where scientists (oops, the 'S' word) discover what is promising. Let Madison Avenue do their snake-oil happy-people-doing-happy-slow-motion stuff to make Big DrugCo shareholders happy. Our troops are exhausted so another war won't cover their attempts to dismantle democracy for a heavily-armed corporate theocracy. What (911) to do all that (911) Homeland Security gear and ammo? (911.) Bring the Middle East to the Mid-West. A little racial division and some over-zealous cops in cockroach-lookin' riot gets uppity _____ (insert scary brown teenagers from country of choice. ''Sure, Bob. Stock footage is fine. Fox Newsies think they all look alike.'') into the pepper-haze, and 3G's America is back in the Neo-confederate's corner. St. Louis is a psycotic's wet dream on the Mason jar Dixie-cup Line. Thirty years ago' you couldn't sell this script to the Transformers screenplay writing teams. ''Can we get a Google ad-scroll on a Facebook product placement zeppelin-drone?" Meanwhile, on late night TV while watching your how-to-rip-off-a-sucker house-flipper marathon, Medicare and Medicaid Mobsters are loading on the charm in commercials to tivo-free America. Right out in the open, in the haze of healthcare lawsuit-ery, con artists are blowing up the durable medical equipment market.Step right up, barked the Medi-Carnie! With one phone call, we'lldo it all fer you. Delivered to your door is your new scooter/back-neck-elbow-knee brace. At little or no cost to you!!! If it's on The List, its yours! (Deep below NORAD is where the List Keeper's Lair resides. AKA the Deciders Den of DME.) Wht if I need something that's not on List? Too bad! No wheelchair for you! Next!  Is the stench of poop in the air? But wait there's more! If you Jitterbug speed diall call in the next TEN minutes, you'll get this surprise bonus:  By the time these Freemarketeers bankrupt Medicare, the HatchetMen of the Grand Ol' Party will be screeching 'the Federal Democrat Party trusted Big Government and we know B. Hussein Obama cannaught be trusted with your taxcut money!'. It's not a good idea to encourage civil unrest. Would the FREEPERS dare? It's not a conspiracy if you are complicitly a country stocked with a numbed and dumber population.

Editor's Note: Due to the Author's ''sebattical'', grammar, puctuation, spelling,, logic and common sense, and umm decorum are covered with dust, broken glass and cat fur. Lower your expectations to a 'gentleman's C' an it'll read like that caterpiller-bug book.

Author's Note: The editor can be a jackass.

Editor's Note: I know you are but am I? 

Staff Note: You're both jackasses. And we wish we knew who is Statue of Liberty Dude . His   bravery was  photographed during Obama II campaign. We're pretty sure the proper authorities know.