Holy shit. It is true. My cat, the infamous Stanley Kowolsky now enjoys eating Cheetos with me. This might have mattered to me a while back. It seemed important. Suddenly, all of our inane crap was relevant. Farmvilles. Lunch pics. Witty stuff on a poster-like graphic. ha-ha. Flowers. Relationship status[es]. Cat videos. Campaigns for things. Campaigns against stuff. It didn't matter. It did not matter. It did not fucking matter? Wall Street attached value to my public self-analysis. No anxious relays begging for my witty remarks on a cat post? YOU ARE IMPORTANT. That was the cover page of Zuckers' IPO proposal. Neuroses have market value, right? And you can sell bananas to monkeys, yes? Sell shares based on Guokas' dinner and cat pictures. A status update is a urine stream of gold coins humanity, shake-shake- wisdom. One longed for my pithy repartee on Palin or Lohan? I wanted to click on an advertisement to relieve my anxiety and depression. Hell, my facebook replies that I struggled over, grammar and just the oh-so nuanced appropriate tone that could be relevant in the far future, might be quoted on a morning wake-up with traffic TV break. What? MAKE ME AND MY PIECE OF CRAP LIFE RELEVANT. NAY, IMPORTANT. IMPORTANTE! Right. It seems that nothing matters anymore if you are a single FIFTY YEAR OLD man. Without money. If you're packing a fat bankroll...BOOF. A magical sexified glow-ring appears. A gun? Badgers still care, and Recall Voices Will Be Heard, buT Still. A defining moment... Hell, defining moments are non-existent on a planet porking out at approaching 7 billion humans. Facebook stock will monetize BFF-ery. The IPO is proof that feelings can be quantified. And if you don't belong you will be shunned. What if I don't allow everyone to know my every daily event? Here's something I spit up a few days ago at Esquire.com that booted over to facebook because I neglected to to uncheck something: "Bailed on FB [facebook] a whopping two months ago. A year and a half ago my 19-24 yo nephew dropped the hint that facebook is NOT cool. And for godssake, it's the pink-meat factory of data mining. Every word is sucked into a Marketing-swamp. And savvy folks with a bit of capital will short the sh@t out of this bag of magic beans. This company is worth MySpace dollars. It was cute when it started. No, it's simply data mining for the new Weasel Economy. This American innovation requires no human labor, it creates nothing. A Sears parking lot has more true value. Unless, maybe pictures of my cat are valued works of art. A crap chat room worth billions and billions? I call Bullshit." Shunned. Am I now shunned? I apologize facbook.com industrial complex. Apple told me to think different. So I'll be different. Like everybody who is different like me.
The above action photograph is the author flying by at roughly 35mph with approximately 20ft of air circa Winter 1984-85 at Greek Peak, Virgil, NY. A sample from the calendar, promotional films touting the magic and lifestyle of alpine festivities in scenic Central New York State. Additional autographed action stills in various cool angles and dangers are available in the lobby.
