Long Live The New Queen!

Secretly, for years of juicy, hot, sexy glee, I've been promoting the Congresswoman from Minnesota's 6th District. A year or so ago, it was easy to recognize that Representative Bachmann had edged out the Quitter Queen Sarah Palin for the Batshithousecrazy title. And now that Palin's star has fallen with the cancellation of her reality show and her collusion in the assassination attempt on Arizona Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, a coronation ceremony for the New Queen of Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs is an obvious necessity. It is insane the amount of quotable material created in such a short time by Lady Bachmann. Unlike Palin, Bachmann will spin and win a Republican nomination with her hot boomer lady-parts on Dancing With The Stars ensuring victory through the power of spandex.

"...The question is, will the Senators of Minnesota act like the Honolulu military headquarters and ignore your message? Today we face perhaps the greatest attack on the family in our lifetime. Now is OUR time to stand up and send a message to avert an equally impending disaster. Please visit www.mnmarriage.com to read my recent column on the threat that legalized gay marriage poses to our civil and religious liberties and, to tax exempt organizations in particular." - Michele Bachmann email to supporters.

My deepest apologies to the simpleton followers of the Palin Fiasco. Guns, the book signing crowds, pre-marital teenage babies, snow-billies, shopping sprees, moose knuckles, a fine porno tribute 'Nailin' Palin', Guns, Russia and Tina Fey's paycheck, little retards, the Couric Paranoia, there is so much more... It's all water under the Wingnut Bridge. We'll miss you Sarah. And we'll miss your clan of under-achievers.

*blaring trunpets*

Congratulations! Our next President of the United States of America! Michele Bachmann!

perverts and psychos

Well now. This is wrong in so many ways.

Autta Be a Law

Yoga pants have been banned from a local high school. High schoolers are not the problem. This clothing should banned from all public spaces, grocery stores, public transit within city limits... Jegging law should be set by independently elected BMI boards will base policy upon urban community standards. Naturally, urban rules supersede suburban standards. "I was only gonna be a minute." is no excuse. The stocks or hard labor are yet to be determined. My imaginary world is rough,tough place.

Approval Rating Explained

Sometimes it's the simple, obvious answer literally looking right at you. Does anyone look at Bozo the Clown and say, "Now there's a serious thinker I can respect."? Watching the healthcare debate taking place in Washington, witness the US House of Representatives as the largest collection of frightening hairstyles on planet Earth. It's difficult enough to listen to an entire gaggle of flapjacks who don't understand the concept of the 'Indoor Voice'. But look at them. I dare you to watch CSPAN, it's a trainwreck of hairspray and rabid zombies. The comb-over and TV preacher hair battle it out for most gruesome example of barber college final exam failures. This is the subliminal reason why America hates Congress. Only a decent haircut can save America. Stop the madness, in the next election please vote for the best hairdo among the candidate field.